From Conflict To Resolution
October 11, 2014
Escaping the Negativity Trap
January 8, 2015

Taking Charge of Our Emotional Well-being

It is often the case that when we have negative thoughts and feelings, we automatically believe that those thoughts and feelings are accurate. We feel that we have no choice but to accept them. Whenever we feel a negative emotion like anxiety, depressed mood, boredom, or lack of motivation, we feel stuck with these feelings and act accordingly. Fortunately, even when our negative reactions are a valid and accurate reflection of the situation at hand, they are often not the only valid thoughts and feelings that are available to us. Therefore, whenever we find ourselves burdened by negativity, we are not compelled to endure it. Rather, we can urge ourselves to move in the opposite direction and make a strong effort to stand against it. One effective technique for doing this is to emphatically refuse to accept whatever message our negative thought or feeling is telling us about the situation we are in, about ourselves, or about others. Having done this, we then strive to identify and express an alternative perspective that is more positive. Even though this positive perspective is not likely to resonate at first as loudly as our negative feelings, this imbalance can be corrected. We can turn down both the volume and the intensity of our negative thoughts and feelings, and simultaneously turn up the volume and intensity of our positive feelings. We can accomplish this by focusing all of our attention on our positive thoughts, and by vigorously expressing these thoughts out loud so that our brain is hearing the message clearly. This approach allows us to take control of our own emotional state rather than to be controlled by it. When we allow our brains to hear positive messages in this manner, it then opens the door for us to feel and act differently, and to engage in new behaviors that will serve to reinforce our newly generated positive thinking and greatly enhance our emotional well-being.

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